Dennis Xiao

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Dennis Xiao

Have you ever tried driving with the parking brake on?

You move forward, but there's resistance. And for good reason — the brake keeps you safe. But you can't fully live with it on.

Most of us spend our lives with an invisible brake engaged. We perform the version of ourselves we think we're supposed to be. The ambitious one. The capable one. The person who has it all together.

But underneath, something feels off. You've checked the boxes, achieved what you're supposed to achieve — and still, there's a nagging sense that you're not fully yourself. That there's more to you than what you're showing the world.

Maybe you're stuck in a job that looks good on paper but feels hollow. Maybe you're successful but unfulfilled. Maybe you know what you want but can't seem to move toward it.

What would your life look like without the parking brake? How much more joy and freedom would you experience?

I work with people who are ready to explore these questions — to stop performing and start being.

If you're curious about what this looks like in practice, book a free 60-minute intro call. We'll connect, explore what's alive for you, and do a bit of work together so you can get a feel for it. Words only do so much — the rest is about experiencing it for yourself.

Book an Intro Call

Approach

"The truth is that you already are what you are seeking."

I guide people back to themselves.

Not to some idealized version. Not to who they think they should be. But to who they actually are underneath all the conditioning, the shoulds, the stories about what it means to be successful, worthy, or enough.

Here's how we work together:

Sessions are conversational and responsive — I follow what's most alive in the moment rather than applying a fixed formula. We might:

Explore the questions beneath your questions — what's really at stake for you
Work with the parts of you that feel stuck, scared, or resistant
Experiment with new ways of being in your body and relationships
Unpack patterns that keep showing up in your life
Hold space for emotions that haven't had room to breathe
Use dreamwork, active imagination, or role play when it serves
Connect your personal experience to the bigger question of what you're here for

The foundation is our relationship. I'm not here to fix you or give you answers — you're not broken, and the answers are already in you. I'm here to hold space for you to discover what's true, to reflect back what I see, and to walk alongside you as you unfold into more of who you actually are.

I draw primarily from my trainings in Aletheia, Hakomi Mindful Somatic Psychotherapy, and Art of Accomplishment. I'm also a certified Integral Coach through New Ventures West. But what really shapes how I work is my own journey — I've been the Wall Street analyst who supposedly had everything and felt empty, the creative building something from scratch, the solo traveler searching for meaning. I know what it's like to live a life that isn't yours, and I know what it takes to come home.

Some call this coaching. I view it more as soul mentorship.

Who

"The great oak once was an acorn too."

You might be:

Starting your journey of inner work and healing
Conventionally "successful" but unfulfilled — something feels empty or off
Wanting to transition toward more meaningful work but feeling stuck or afraid
Struggling with intimacy and authenticity in your relationships
Disconnected from your emotions and body
Hitting resistance in your creative work or self-expression
Sensing there's "more to life" but unsure what that means or how to find it
Seeking clarity on who you actually are beneath all the masks

We'd be a good fit if:

You've done some inner work before (therapy, coaching, courses) or are actively engaged in it
Your life is relatively stable — no major crises happening right now
You're open to exploring mindfulness and embodiment practices
You're committed to your own healing and transformation (not looking for someone to save you)
You value genuine connection and are willing to be vulnerable

Vibes matter. I may not be the right coach for you and that's okay. I'll help you find someone who is.

Vibes are an important consideration in any relationship. I may not be the coach for you, and that's okay! I'll work with you to find someone who is.

There isn't any particular archetype of person I work with. So long as you're committed to your own self-discovery and freedom, we can make it happen.

You may be:

Starting to question the scripts and stories you've grown up with
Ambitious and "successful" but unfulfilled — something feels off
Yearning for deeper clarity on who you are, and how you got here
Seeking fuller expression (creatively) and working through blockages
Sensing there's "more to life" but are unsure of what awaits or how to get there

Testimonials

"Dennis has helped me realize that gentle attention to myself, including all of the parts that I reject, is the way to inner harmony and connection with others. He’s helped me find hope. Working with Dennis has helped me reconnect with my scared parts, my ashamed parts, my inner critics and my inner victims. A few weeks ago, for instance, when I was in an extended conflict with my partner, Dennis helped me realize how much I actually craved connection with her, and how much my heart wanted to say to her. There were scared parts of myself that I needed to take care of, but beginning from my desire for connection helped place all of those in context and led to a more vulnerable conversation with my partner. I learned how powerful it is to connect with and speak from my heart, without judgment for all of the other self-protective instincts I have. This has immediately led to significant changes in how my partner and I are communicating, sharing space, and planning for the future. I am committed to caring for myself and pursuing inner work through courses and workshops, but coaching with Dennis probably accelerated those insights by months or even years."

Parth Agrawal

Software Engineer, Flower Computer

Parth Agrawal

Software Engineer, Flower Computer

FAQ

🤝🏻 How It Works

Here's a primer if you're curious.

Our practice will consist of:

•Initial 75-minute intake session

•Biweekly 60-minute sessions

•Full text and email support

•Post-session notes (as needed)

•Practices to deepen into what we're exploring

•A dedicated Notion page for our work together

🧀 Pricing

I operate on a monthly retainer — this covers our biweekly coaching sessions and time spent on prep, follow-up, and everything in-between. I offer a sliding scale of $300-$600.

After our first two sessions, I encourage you to tune into a point that feels good for you as a way to honor our commitment. Consider the question: "For the value I received, what's the gift I want to give?"

I don't ask for any contracts or upfront payments, only an initial six month energetic commitment to build the foundation of our relationship and container.

❓ Coaching vs. Therapy

Therapy
The main distinction is that I don't diagnose or work with significant complex trauma. If you experience difficulty with basic functioning and wellbeing or believe your challenges are clinical or biological, I encourage you to look for a therapist. I recommend those with experience in Somatic Experiencing, Hakomi, or Internal Family Systems.

Coaching
As a coach, I'm focused on the path of self-actualization and self-realization. We're working with the question "How can we be more ourselves more of the time?"

In coaching, we have intentions and yearnings that give us a container to work within. While in therapy you might focus solely on healing, in coaching we bring in the piece of embodiment, which is essential for integrated transformation.

🤝🏻 How It Works

Here's a primer if you're curious.

Our practice will consist of:

•Initial 75-minute intake session

•Biweekly 60-minute sessions

•Full text and email support

•Post-session notes (as needed)

•Practices to deepen into what we're exploring

•A dedicated Notion page for our work together

🧀 Pricing

I operate on a monthly retainer — this covers our biweekly coaching sessions and time spent on prep, follow-up, and everything in-between. I offer a sliding scale of $300-$600.

I don't ask for any contracts or upfront payments, only an initial six month energetic commitment to build the foundation of our relationship and container.

❓ Coaching vs. Therapy

Coaching
As a coach, I'm focused on the path of self-actualization and self-realization. We're working with the question "How can we be more ourselves more of the time?"

🤝🏻 How It Works

Here's a primer if you're curious.

Our practice will consist of:

•Initial 75-minute intake session

•Biweekly 60-minute sessions

•Full text and email support

•Post-session notes (as needed)

•Practices to deepen into what we're exploring

•A dedicated Notion page for our work together

🧀 Pricing

I operate on a monthly retainer — this covers our biweekly coaching sessions and time spent on prep, follow-up, and everything in-between. I offer a sliding scale of $300-$600.

I don't ask for any contracts or upfront payments, only an initial six month energetic commitment to build the foundation of our relationship and container.

❓ Coaching vs. Therapy

Coaching
As a coach, I'm focused on the path of self-actualization and self-realization. We're working with the question "How can we be more ourselves more of the time?"